in the blink of an unmarried eye!

i see my friends/ acquiantences get married one by one by one and then they start making babies - i.e. alex and amy forever xxx. john and jamie in eternity xxx. facebook update- oooh. offspring on the way- baby due in may! and then i remember his/her prepubscent image- skinny, bespectacled, lazy and carefree and now theyve moved on to become someone's husband/wife/ father/ mother its just so amazing, but crazy.

like what the heck happened in the meantime?- we were once still schooling, mere kids. eating reccess in the tuckshop, getting permission from the teacher to go to the loo during mathematics; teenage days- hip hot cool and happening skipping class to watch movies at orchard road, getting used to boys for the first time in college- exchanging (sexy misty) glances across the school canteen.

ohmygawd. time. has. gone. by. in the skip. of an eye. does not even sound right, but whatver. and then i look at myself and im still somewhat of a mess- jobless, deranged , overtly emotional, craving pancakes all day all night- unable to cook anything remotely decent, planning out a dramatic future not involving a husband and/or kids (god bless their annoying souls!) - furnished with wild dreams (heavy emphasis on dream) of healing the world, climbing the highest moutain in peru, backpacking in mexico at the same time being a hotshot lawyer/entrepreuner/ hotelier/cashing in the big bucks leading a flashy lifestyle- yatchs/ boats/ property/ luxury/cocktails/ events/ being able to have, (and flirt with) at my disposal- bankers, lawyers, hot men in general.

but hah.

i'm still me. messy, and perhaps to some extent, deluded. the peer pressure kicks in. i begin to feel. old. and, un-married. like its almost a baaaad thing. i always tell myself i give me ten years from now to even begin to consider becoming part of a whole. attached. copulated. spouse of another human being. god so forbid; maaar-rieeed. Marriage/ anything associated with starting a family, for me at least is a thing of the Extreme future (Capital E). you see people talk about settling/dealing with peers getting married but they were always much older. but now i see it happening to my generation already-something that was a non-issue for so long- when people all around you start holding weddings and declaring everlasting love to their fastfound soulmates; in sickness, and in health, no doubt, i feel my individual stubborn self, slowly wither away. and i am afraid one day i may no longer have the strenght, to withstand, this huge marriage/baby/family hurricane and may eventually succumb and settle, so that i may belong once again.

What then, will happen to those long-held fascinating dreams of richness and fame?