my parents and noode bodies

sex and the city vs. homo momo midnight shows

setting: tv lounge is next to the kitchen

i was watching sex and the city on channel 9
my mum was making pancakes and i decided to fry the last one
so as i proceeded to the kitchen i switched to some other channel (sbs)
cos my parents dont like the idea of me watching a show
with the word 'sex' in the title
somehow its immoral and wrong and something we as ethical people should abstain from

as i was busy flipping the pancake
my dad came out looked at d tv screen
he suddenly remarked "how come got naked butt one"
apparently 2 men were engaged in the dirty deed
"aiyo homosexual show!"
"tsk, christine u better be careful with what you watch"
i replied, flabbergusted, "i didnt watch that!"
"i was watching something else!"

somehow i felt it sounded like i was lying
even though it was the full truth
maybe cos i felt guilty i was watching sex and the city anyway
but i really wanted to see what the big fuss was abt
plus it was kinda interesting
and its not porn what

my mum eyes wide shut

they broadcast the r(a) movie eyes wide shut once
and my mum was grostequely shocked to see
naked bodies on semi-prime time (9pm or so)tv
it was higly amusing to see her shriek with much animation,
"my goodness! they never censor, show naked body on tv
my mum failed to realise however, that "they" only censor in singapore.
sometimes we are so sheltered in our pretty little chewing-gum-free garden state that we subconciously turn into prudes without realising it

trash the cosmo

the september 2004 issue of cosmopolitan australia

my mum happens to get hold of my cosmo magazines sometimes
because i carelessly leave them lying around
whats there to hide? i hear u ask
well u see theyve got sealed sections in the australian women's magazines,
where u are taught how to please themselves sexually, give the most amazing puffjobs and experience the life of a p-orn star, sometimes with the help of real life boob diagrams/images.
ya so my mum reads these sections
shakes her head
and tells me not to buy scandalous, unbecoming magazines like cosmo and cleo ever again.

i nod and assure her i will never buy them in the future and then proceed to do otherwise.
but then again a little white lie here and there to ensure a normal upbringing for myself wont hurt, right?