i think and hate on this day called valentine's.

i hate goodbyes because they make you remember happy memories and knowing that you will be leaving these happy memories makes me want to bah,cry.

i hate to cry especially in public because it makes you weak and vulnerable and all things human.

i think on valentines day girls secretly compare the sizes of their bouquets and use that to measure their boyfriend's love towards them, or worse still, their self-worth. more contentment will be felt if jack gave jane a bouquet of 12 red roses as opposed to a single carnation. jane will feel joyous walking down orchard road proudly carrying red bouquet in hand, perched on her other hand dangles silly boyfriend who paid hundred SGD just to win jane's affections and approval on a man-made today-we-must-pay-through-our-noses-celebrate-our-love-for-the-world-to-see valentine's day.

ridiculous bullshit.

but face it we are all vain idiots who pine for attention.
thats why you see guys revvv their bike engines for no apparent reason and girls wear plunging necklines in airconditioned places.

the world doesn't make sense.

these past few weeks in singapore has been eventful indeed. had an interesting job, met new friends, caught up with old ones, ate much kueh tutu, dined at coffeeclub, clubbed at zouk, bought somemore flipflops, amongst many others.

but then the time comes for me to leave again, but i don't want to. as much fun as melbourne is and no matter how "the system sucks" in singapore, this is my home. immensely corny shite but terribly true.

you know how sometimes you find yourself growing distant from certain people who used to be really important in your life? i think we all go through phases. its scary how sometimes you begin to not care anymore. but memories will be memories and the beauty of a memory is that you can take it out of its sacred box whole and preserved as and when needed and relieve through past times, raw and precious,in its full splendour and glory. although it will never feel real and physical once again, at least a snapshot of happy times remain. terribly far away and out-of-reach. because people change and they are no longer the same the next time you meet them.

i guess one has to alter expectations as you go along on this journey called life. you can't expect too much because otherwise you'd die of expectation-exhaustion. soon you'l tire out from trying to get this and that to happen because people don't seem to think the same way you do anymore and so you'l have to find new refreshing other people to interact with. life is a cycle and it works such that we'l always need new drive, motivation, experiences and interactions. to bring us a step further, a step closer, to unfulfilled perfection.

meanwhile, everyone feels obliged to engage in mandatory ordinary social banter; plaster a smile on your face and participate in superficial "how are you today? whatsup man? so what are you studying now? oh so you're attatched! how's life been?" conversations,coupled with bland stale bitter lets-have-coffee trips

with pretentious people with pretentious hugs and pretentious smiles

get off your bum and onto your feet and stop complaining.
maybe instead, you can do your part, change the world and make it a better place.

the voices in our heads tell us one thing, but our heart says another.
the conflict within us grows stronger and stronger, as we remain undecided, yet again.

oh why will no body listen
but who will listen



if everyone wants to talk.